Look, Dora, we really need to talk. I like that you have had a part in teaching my children Spanish, and I am sure you have many wonderful traits such as being a caring daughter and ardent animal lover, but we really need to talk about your manners. I’ve been trying to teach my trio the importance of their inside voices, but every time you say to say something louder, I instantly regret letting you into my home.
Your cousin Diego isn’t any better. In fact, I think he may be more nefarious. I suspect he is in league with the pharmaceutical companies. Daily he tells my children, “Everybody Screeeeeeam!” and I instantly look longingly at the medicine cabinet, thinking of the painkillers that lie there.
Your Nick Jr. counterparts over at Yo Gabba Gabba, also like to incite excitement and noise. In fact, I am beginning to wonder if Nick Jr. has shares in the ear plug or hearing aid industries; I know Mickey Mouse definitely should be a loyal consumer of the latter, since every day in his Club House, he encourages children to speak louder with the melodic admission, “I can’t hear you!”
I digress, dear Dora, back to you. I know you may have noticed you have not been invited to visit as often. It is because we have been busy with more polite guests. The animals over at Word World have been particularly gracious, as well as that talking dog, Martha. We do not have a bias towards animals, since we have been enjoying numerous visits from the human Kratt Brothers. We have even enjoyed prehistoric visitors from the Dinosaur Train, and the humans and other diverse species from Sesame Street.
Who knows, maybe our paths will cross again someday, but for now, in all honesty, I cannot say I miss you.